my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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