She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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