If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
