Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She announced her abortion via fbk
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
