This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
