I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
