If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize