dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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