Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize