It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
