I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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