dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
