i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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