Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
