If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
