Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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