What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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