I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
