i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
