maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
