Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
