finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
