i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
