sarcasm needs its own font
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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