I hope mine doesn't look like that
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
