drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
