What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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