I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize