my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize