Barsexuality is the new black.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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