Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.

Fav 11 3376 2126
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(631): View more from New York

Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?

Fav 3 3699 1177
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister

Fav 6 1652 895
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(615): View more from Tennessee

She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Its not chugging if its just one gulp

Fav 1 933 533
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(417): View more from Missouri

I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again

(1-417): View more from Missouri

I will be over with a bedpan and beer

Fav 4 881 517
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(402): View more from Nebraska

sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut

Fav 6 486 820
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(859): View more from Kentucky

He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus

Fav 0 9 29
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