Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My life is pants optional.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
