That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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