They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will pee on everything he values.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
