Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is Oprah even human
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize