Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
