hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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