Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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