May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
