just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
