Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm always down for nudity.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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