the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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