Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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