Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
