Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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