She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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