There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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