I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
