there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
