sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize