Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
