Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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