i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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