I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
