we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize