why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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