Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
