remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
