at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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