did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
