I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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