Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
