I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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