Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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