is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
