I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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